I would have to say the most difficult part of my life’s journey has definitely been … “the waiting”
From any early age, of 16, the message was loud and clear – you are on your own!
Little did I know that God’s plan for my life would include a wonderful gift at 21, when he blessed me with this beautiful, loving man whom I would call my husband for 30 years.
… I learned what love was – unconditional love. Anytime I questioned who God was, all I had to do was look beside me.
I learned to embrace this life I had been given, and it was comforting to know that I did not have to “go it alone” anymore.
The years would bring three wonderful children into our lives and I was careful to thank God every day for the blessings in my life.
Life as I knew it, came to an abrupt end on a cold January evening in 2012.
… the message was loud and clear – “you are on your own” once again!
I have struggled to put the pieces of my life back together, from then until now. Admittedly, some days are better then others. I’ve definitely questioned God and without the benefit of being able to look beside me – there are definitely moments when I wonder where He is, in all of this.
I have been so blessed by those three little persons who graced my life and grew into adulthood. My youngest daughter, I call her “my Ruth” and my only son is the living legacy of his Dad. Not anchored by their grief, they are the very example of fortitude and grace. I still thank God every day for the blessing of their lives in mine.
… perhaps they are God’s reminder of His Goodness and His Grace.
Setbacks are tough but I have to continue to remember that; “when I wait you strengthen my heart” – Psalm 27:14
I would love to count myself among the faithful.
Today however, I write with a weary heart.
I’ve heard it said more times then I care to count, that when plans fail – God is up to something a whole lot bigger!
For now, for today anyway – that will have to be enough …